Thank you for being you

I know a lot of people. Just look at my facebook, I have 343 friends. That is A LOT of people. But to be honest, I don't have so many real friends. When I feel like I really need to talk, there are not so many people I can turn to. And most of the people I would like to call my real friends don't even live in the same city as I. And that makes me a little bit sad. Because I miss them. I know I have said it a lot, but I need to say it again. Maybe because I have just realised that I hardley haven't got any real friends at all in Västerås. And by real friends I now mean people I feel like I can call when I feel sad, when something fun has happened, the person I want to tell everything to. And some of the people I thought I could do that with, I can't anymore. That makes me sad to. It's probably just pms right now or something, but since I'm not in a very good mood I guess I can say it... It feels like I'm always number 2 theese days, if even that. It's always I that have to make things happen, not many friends of mine that calls me and ask if we can do something. And the last couple of days I have been getting tired of that and stopped arranging stuff. Guess what? Here I am, at home, all alone. Nice one. But the worst thing happened when I was spending time with someone I thought was a really good friend. And then a friend of that person joined us. And my friend asked the other person "You want to go and take a coffee in town, X?" And really directed the question to her, not including me. I know I could have joined them if I wanted, that the person probably didn't even thought about what he/she said - but it hurt, it really did. Especially since that person did the same thing the day before, with another person, with me there. Then it had been me arriving late, so I could understand it, cause from the beginning it was the two of them spending time. But now, when it were us who had been spending time first... What can I say? I guess I'm number 2... I just wish I was someones number 1 so I could lay my focus there instead, and didn't care so much about people like that......To my real friends I want to say: I miss you when you are not around, I'm really happy I have you in my life and most of all: THANK YOU for being you.

"When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again"

/Savage Garden